Great News!

*35 week ultrasound. The tech was so nice and did a 3D image for me of the little one! It was a really nice perk since I wasn't planning on getting one at all.*

So I had my ultrasound last week and got great news! My placenta has now moved enough, yea! I was getting really antsy, and just wanted to know what I could plan for. Now I know I can try natural birth. I've been working on a few relaxation and visualization techniques, and I hope that it works out. I will, of course be open to other things because there are some things you just can't predict. The only dream I have had about childbirth so far is that I went to the hospital and had a water birth that lasted 5 min. and wasn't painful at all. Sounded pretty nice. The only thing was that my brother-in-law was the only person with me. Yeah, I've got weird dreams sometimes, well, all the time really. No birthing nightmares yet, but we'll see. I hope that I've educated myself enough so that my mind and body can handle it better. It still scares me, but I am really trying to prepare my mind for what is to come.

People have been asking me if I'm getting excited, which I am because, holy moley, I'm on my last month! I don't feel ready yet, though. I mean, he'll have cloths and diapers and a place to sleep (oh! I finished painting the nursery), but I don't have a carseat yet, and my hospital bag is not packed, and there seems to be a million tiny things to do, so I'm not feeling as prepared as I would like to be. Eventhough I am so excited for him and want to be in the next phase, I want to feel like everything is ready, which it is not yet. I'm still waiting for that burst of energy that supposedly comes with nesting, but it hasn't really kicked in yet. I'm still so tired, so its more like a burst of anxiety. I have to take breaks alot so things take me forever and sometimes I just fall asleep. It's annoying when there is so much to do! But I know things will work out. Things have been pretty good, my sister-in-law had her baby, and my friends who were adopting finally got their sweet baby girl. And my baby shower is today and it is so great to finally be the one that it is for. I might actually enjoy this one ;)

@ 30 weeks

It's been a little while since I posted so I'll give a quick update. I went in for my glucose test at 28 weeks- PASSED! And it wasn't even that bad. I heard from some people about how gross the drink was, how bad it was, ect. But it wasn't bad at all! Maybe it was because I was sorta expecting it to be awful. I got another Rhogam shot, got through that ok. Then last week I had my 30 week ultrasound to check on my placenta problem. Some good news, it's moved up. Unfortunately, I still have a partial previa hanging out around the cervix. My midwife was still pretty positive that it would continue to move, but I've got another ultrasound to check it in a month, and possible C-section is still on the table. Dang. But I did get another cute pic of the lil' one.

I'm in the third trimester now (wow!), and getting closer and closer to the big birthday. I'm nervous and scared, but have been trying to learn as much as I can to be better prepared. We took a Childbirth class on Saturday. We watch a video of a woman who did natural childbirth in all the stages of labor. After class I said to my hubby "Well, I hope you have more understanding now of what I'm about to go through" and he said "Yeah. Are you sure you don't want an epidural? It looks like alot of work!". I guess if I do end up being able to do natural, I've got to toughen him up! Silly man!

Smile and Laugh

When you are going through infertility, having a good sense of humor helps. Though when I was going through it I didn't really appreciate some people making jokes to lighten the mood. I know they were trying to help, but sometimes it was annoying because they really didn't know at all what I was going through. I felt like my life and hardship was not a joke. I felt better joking around people that had actually gone through infertility or were going through it at the time. Not that I was incredibly serious, but it is a very painful thing and it helped to be around people who understood that type of pain. Anyway, I came across this series of videos and thought that they were really great and very relatable in what you go through. Anyway, check 'em out if you are having a bad day or just want a good laugh.

Oh, and I also came across this article the other day I found really informative and realistic. If you are facing some issues or just want to know more about infertility and what it is like to go through check it out : http://www.ivillage.com/things-we-wish-we-d-known-about-infertility/6-b-333172

Groovy, baby

Disco Mama says : "Hope you all had a GROOOVY Halloween! Baby Disco Beat and I partied and danced the night away!"

Hey everyone, hope that things are well with you! I am almost 26 weeks now, crazy! I'm almost into my 3rd trimester. Time is going by pretty fast and I've got to start getting prepared. I registered for gifts, but did it kinda quickly so I might have to work on that some more. But I've started collecting things and people have given me stuff, so I've got a nice little stash. I'm still trying to figure out what I need, though. Any advice? I also have signed up for childbirth classes in December and am going to borrow some books on hypnobirthing from my neighbor. I'd like to study that, and it would be nice to take some hypnobirthing classes, but they are way expensive!

The pregnancy has been going fine, though I do have my emotional moments. My last doctor's appointment I was in a really bad mood. I was already cranky, then the nurse weighed me and it was more than I expected. But there's not much I can do about that, anyway, I'm eating pretty normally and trying to exercise a few times a week. Then when I saw the midwife, she told me I needed to get a Rhogam shot at 28 weeks, eventhough I already had one at 15 weeks due to some bleeding. I was not happy about that. I thought I was done with that! Then she commented that I "seemed a little down about getting the shot" Uh, yeah, who wants to get a shot? Then she felt she needed to tell me all about why it's important. I know why it's important, and I'll do it but it doesn't mean I'll be happy about it, yeash! I left my appointment feeling like "why do I have to go to these dumb appointments? what's the point? women had been having babies for centuries before all this" Anyways, I was just crabby. I am grateful for modern medical technology. Without it I wouldn't even be pregnant right now.

Anyway, on Halloween night, after the festivities were over (we had a small family party at our house), I was laying down and actually saw the baby moving around for the first time! I've seen little knocks here and there, but he was really moving all around this time. It was strange and alien-like, but oh so adorable! I was watching him again this morning, and was just in amazement, I mean, I created that life. My husband and I created him, and though we may have has some assistance in getting it all together, he is ours, and we created him together! I was just overcome with a feeling of gratitude that I have the privilege of carrying that life. It makes it all worth it and I will always appreciate him and that I was granted this ability after trying for so long. I can't wait to meet him!

The message I want to share with everyone is: Never give up. If it is your dream and you feel like you are meant to be a mother, never give up. There are so many ways you can be a mother. My way is different from yours, but there are alot of options out there. It may take time to figure out what option is best for you, but you will find your way. It's an extremely hard road to travel, but it is worth it!

It's a......

BOY! Hubby and I were a little shocked to find that out at the ultrasound. I didn't think I really knew one way or another, but I think we were both more expecting the baby to be a girl. It's still a little strange to me, but so is the whole actually-having-a-baby thing. The ultrasound went well and the baby is right on track, but I sort of have a problem. My placenta is not only too low, but it is also covering my cervix. The midwife sounded pretty confident that it would move, but if it doesn't, I would have to have a C-section. Boo. I am all about natural birth so that is obviously something I don't want. The problem with that condition is that the baby needs the placenta to survive birth and if it is covering the cervix that means you would to "birth" the placenta first, which means the baby couldn't survive. So I am having another ultrasound in 10 weeks to check it again. I'm surprisingly not that worried about it. Even if I end up having a C-section (the total opposite of my plan), I've been feeling okay about it. I just want what's best for the baby. But I am still hoping and praying I can give birth the natural way (I'm against using and drugs during labor too). I guess I will plan my ideal birth situation, but still be open to different possibilities too. Anyway, I've got some pics to share with you.

Cutie!

yep, that's a boy allright!

His cute lil' foot

Progressive Belly Pics

So I am finally getting around to posting my belly documentation. I started thinking I would take pics every week wearing the same outfit, and well, guess I wasn't too dedicated to that idea anyway. But I have taken a few pics, that counts for something!

Here we go:

Beginning- 4 weeks

15 weeks starts to show

19 weeks- it sure popped out in a few short weeks!

at present: 20 weeks

So I had my ultrasound on Thursday and there were a few surprises there. But the baby is healthy and that's what I really care about it. I will post some more details, including the gender, once everyone in our immediate families know. I can't believe I'm halfway through this pregnancy already!

2nd trimester update

It's been quite a while since I have written! Well, life kinda takes over sometimes. Lately I've been going through some depression, which hasn't helped, and I've been working on it. It seems so weird that I would feel that way when it took me so long to get pregnant and finally am and I feel that way. I kept thinking "why don't I feel happy all the time?" Then I feel like I should be happy all the time which makes it worse, because then I feel guilty. But I also recognize I still have a life, and life is hard, and that I have all these pregnancy hormones to boot. I'm slowly coming out of it now. It seems like the past few weeks have been especially stressful, which then I feel guilty about because I don't want it to harm my baby. But I have to realize that some things are just out of my control.

Anyway, I am well into my second trimester (yeah!). My stomach problems aren't as bad, but now I've got that sweet pregnancy congestion going on all the time. I have to say that I do like getting symptoms, though while unpleasant still remind me I'm actually pregnant and not just getting fat. My belly is starting to round out but it's still not obvious that I'm pregnant. So I am 17 weeks and have an ultrasound appointment on September 22nd! So exciting! Just under three weeks and I'll get to find out the gender (hopefully). Everyone seems to think it's a girl. I'm not sure what I will have and I really detest it when people ask me what I want. Just seems unfair to have a preference when I've waited so long to have a baby. I will be excited no matter what.

I've been progressing well, but I did have some bleeding that lasted for 5 days that didn't seem to have a reason for it. I call my doctor's office and talked to a midwife because I've been working with them, and they told me to watch out for it again even though it didn't seem serious this time (no cramping along with it and it was more like spotting). But I did have to go have a rhogam shot, being a negative blood type. It wasn't too bad getting the shot, but yeah, was a little stressful.

So I am just waiting for my appointment pretty much. I've also been taking care of my husband, because he had a minor surgery last week. He was able to go back to work today, so he is recovering well. It's time for me to get back into exercise. I finally felt like I can do it again and I just got some prenatal exercise videos that I ordered so I am excited to get back into a exercise schedule! I know it will help me deal with the depression as well. I'll try to post more too!