Emotions and Coping

Just a small post today. I came across a article about coping with infertility that pretty much nails it on the feelings you go through and ways to deal with those feelings. I'll review a little of what it covers and give my thoughts.

The Original article can be found here:

http://infertility.about.com/od/copingwithinfertility/a/copestress.htm

Emotions:

Loss- In a way you are grieving, which is weird because it is like grieving over something you never had. You still feel it though, your dream to have children is lost, and it seems like it should be natural and easy to accomplish (Millions do every year!) but you can't and you don't really understand why.

Anger or jealousy- This is one of the hardest for me. Why does everyone get pregnant except for me?..is a thought that goes through your mind a lot. I really don't want to be angry at others but you can't help it sometimes. I do get over it pretty quickly, though. It takes some training to be happy for others, but you just have to realize that you want other people to have that joy even though you can't right now.

Denial- yep, don't want to accept it. the key is to accept that you have a problem but to keep going.

Shame- You don't feel like a "real woman" and you blame yourself for every mistake you made in the past, feeling like you are unworthy to be a mother.

Lack of Control- You want so much to be able to have control over your body, over your emotions and you can't sometimes. You don't want to be this way, you don't want to feel this way, but it becomes very overwhelming.

The good news is you can cope with it and learn to manage your feeling. I still feel all those things but have been able to deal with them better. Here is some of the things that the article recommends:

Acknowledge your feelings: it doesn't help to keep them inside, you need support. Don't be afraid to cry on your partners shoulder. Sometimes just getting a hug helps.

Practice Relaxation- Meditation really helps me. Just a few minutes of quiet time to clear your mind can really help you get through the day. And if you feel like crying, do it! It takes some strength to accept how you feel.

Learn as much as you can- I'm in this process right now and it puts some power back into your hands.

Don't let infertility take over your life- Amen! you still have a life to life and can effect people for the better. Take time to really improve your relationships with others and have fun!

Anyway, that's it for now. I've been doing really great the past week. I'm thinking of doing a post about "The top 10 Reasons Infertility Sucks" and "The top 10 Things to be Grateful for" If you have any ideas or thoughts about that, let me know!