Phobia at the Doctor's Office!

Tomorrow I go to the doctor. I'm a little nervous, I always get a little nervous. Now why is that? I'm not afraid of blood, or needles..seeing them doesn't bother me in the least. But ever since I was a child, I've been...super...empathetic. If someone just describes and illness or injury or pain, my mind takes it in and I feel it. Its as if my imagination somehow goes overboard and I feel it. I almost passed out in a health class in 7th grade because of the teacher describing back injuries. My husband complain of a spasm in his elbow and my own elbow hurt for 2 days. My grandma had knee surgery last year, and while visiting her in the hospital, some discussion was made about her surgery and my own knee started hurting and I felt sick. Its a natural reaction that I have no control over. And when my mind can't frame exactly what it feels like, I get very anxious, I feel it in the pit of my stomach and my whole body feels light headed. It's like I am going to throw up and pass out at the same time. I also get really sweaty and clammy. If it gets really bad then my vision will start getting all white and closing in like a cartoon ending circle.

I've never passed out yet, but have definitely been on the brink of it. At the very least I get nauseous. So, by having all of these experiences, even when I am in a doctors office I start to feel sick. I suppose its sort of a phobia, an irrational fear. But I can go to the doctor and not want to run away screaming. It is just not the easiest thing for me. And I know that if I actually do it, and do medical things, that it won't ever be as bad as I thought, its just that I want to avoid that feeling so I do try and avoid medical things. Oh, yeah, when my husband had surgery last year and was in the recovery room, the nurse came in to take his IV out. I had to turn around and I heard him going "ow!ow!". My arm started hurting and I felt like throwing up. I was starting to dry heave. When it was over I asked him how bad it was and he was like "Oh, it didn't hurt coming out, the tape was just ripping my arm hairs out". This is how it is, my mind transcends the reality of a situation and makes it the worst it could be.

Anyway, you could see why I've been avoiding things like that. But I have resolved this year to face some of my fears.

So wish me luck!My appointment is tomorrow afternoon. And if you know anything about what questions I should ask, let me know!