So I've been going a little crazy. I thought it would be good to get out of the house today so I went to the temple. It was closed, though, sad! So then I just sat on the grounds for a while and did a little meditation which felt great. After that I went and met my brothers for lunch which was fun. I was going to head home when I saw the new shoe store that just opened up and thought "oh, what the hey, I'll might as well go look". I thought it would be nice to get a new pair of church shoes, since it's been a while. That was a mistake. I tried on too many and before I knew what was happening, I was walking out with two new pairs. I justified it and told myself I deserved it, but now I'm feeling guilty about spending the money. Especially when I got home and found a bill for the doctor's office in the mail. Crap. That's not helping my anxiety! But in my defense they are really, really cute shoes. Oh, well, hope hubby isn't to mad about it. I would return them but they have a store credit only policy. Anyway, I might need to go meditate some more, or do something to distract myself. Wish me luck!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
If I was a nail biter, my fingers would be bleeding by now.
So I have been trying really hard not to be anxious, trying to take it easy, but its been an awful struggle. And it's making me be in a really bad mood even though I don't want to be. My patience has been wearing pretty thin. But only one more week until the test at the doctors. I don't know what to think though. If it's good news I want to find out right now, if its bad news I don't want to know. I could probably take an at home test a few days before my appointment, but I think that I'll be too anxious to really trust any results I get at home anyway, so it might be best to just wait 'till I go to the doctor anyway. I don't want to jinx it or anything.
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ack, I can't imagine the anxiety! But good or bad, we are here waiting as anxious as can be. Do something fun with yourself or for yourself! But please, nothing that involves sharp pointed objects or the like.
ReplyDeleteFeeling that anxious feeling is totally normal! And it sucks...no matter how normal it is! Way to find something to distract yourself, even if it involved a little money! You deserve to treat yourself once in a while. Where's the pics of the new shoes!?! :)
ReplyDeleteKeeping my fingers crossed for ya!
I think that waiting after having infertility treatments is the LONGEST wait in the world...I have to be honest with our first in-vitro procedure my husband went and bought some pregnancy tests (3) to be exact the night before our blood draw for me to take. I was very, very scared and waited until he went to play a computer game and then went downstairs and took them. I was very scared and tried to prepare myself for the worst..that it would be negative and then go in the morning for the blood test.
ReplyDeleteI did not do that when we used clomid and the HCG injection I was too worried and I did not want that stress.
Hang in there and I will keep everything crossed it goes well.