Running but not running away

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I was very anxious knowing that my medications were going to arrive that day. I knew they would because my fertility clinic goes through Walgreen's specialty pharmacy where they just send medications to your home. Anyway, they called me to tell me when it was shipped and when it would arrive. So anyway, I was really, really anxious to get them. I was worried all day if when my package would come and thinking, did they get my address right? also, those where expensive and I hope so much it didn't get lost!! I kept looking out my window every few minutes, when anyone drove by I would run and look. I was on high alert and high anxiety. Finally at 4:30, they came. It was a relief, but only for a few minutes. Crap. Now I'm going to have to actually use these things.

I opened the package, looked things over, and put them away. Some had to be keep cold, so now I have in my fridge a baggy full of things marked "progesterone suppositories" and "vaginal applicators". Fun times at my house, I tell you. The worst was the syringe, so that is sitting in the back of my pantry behind all my supplements for now. It was pretty intimidating opening up the package. Woah, this is reality. Honestly, I wanted to run out of the house screaming! But I stayed put and popped in the CD-rom of information that came with it. I read up on some basic info, but once I got to the heading entitled " injection training" I was like "nope! not today! can't handle that one quite yet!" Pretty sure I would have fainted if I looked over that one. I will probably have to have hubby look that over. He was really nice when I told him how worried I was, he just looked at me and said " I know you can do this". Aww... So nice that he believes in me, because I really, really need that support. So many times I just feel like running away and not dealing with this anymore. I know that I can't, though. I would never be happy knowing that I didn't do everything that I could, even if it was really hard for me.

Anyway, as far as my other goals are going, umm ok, I've kinda had a hard time getting back into an exercise routine. I've been doing it, but not as much as I want to be and it's been a little sporadic. So today I thought I'd give something new a chance. My stake (the local part of my church, comprised of different "wards") has a free aerobics class on Tuesdays and Thursdays that started a few weeks ago, so I though, hey why not try it? In my mind somehow I pictured a bunch of old lady's skipping around the church gym doing leg lifts or something for half an hour. Oh, man was I wrong! It totally kicked my butt! There where women of all ages there, and there was lots of running, squats, lunges, arm work, ab work, everything! It was a great hour long workout and I think I'm going to make a habit out of it, cause it was awesome! Hard, but such a great workout. Anyway, hope everyone is having a good day!