Looking Forward and Looking Back

So my doctor's appointment when really well. The office had a nice, homey atmosphere inside, decorated nicely with comfy couches, so that put me more at ease than a regular doctor's office. Not quite so scary. First off, I talked to my new doctor in his office. He was really nice and explained a lot off things to me and pretty much said " Yeah, there's definitely something not right, you should have been pregnant by now". But he was really confident that I would get pregnant. Nice things to hear. So then he gave me and ultrasound to check out my ovaries (this involved using a big wand and one not used on the outside, if you catch my drift so, ick) He said everything looked good except I have a tiny cyst on on of them, but that isn't too back (I am so glad it wasn't worse than that). He said that it look like I ovulated, but even then, there still could be problems with my ovulation anyway. So next month I have to come in for some blood tests and to get a procedure when they inject dye into you uterus (ugh, I just got sick typing that!) and give me an x-ray so that they can see the form of my uterus and fallopian tubes and see if there is any problems there. That kinds disgusts me, but it needs to be done. So next month is going to be pretty intense. I going to start the whole fertility drug thing. I'm going to take clomid, and ovulation stimulator, also progesterone, and to top it off, a shot of HCG. But the good news is that my doctor was really confident that I could get pregnant in 2-3 months! Woah, That is insane to me!

Holy crap, I can't believe I'm going to do this. I'm really glad that I am, but I know that I really had to go through what I did to get to this point. If I had done this right from the beginning I don't think that I would have been ready for it. For a person who rarely goes to the doctor and has the phobia that I do, this is way, way intense for me. I don't think I could've handled it back then. So even though its been a hard, painful road, I know it was the one that I need to take.

I am really grateful for everyone who has been an great support to me. A special shout out to my cousin Tabby, who has been pushing me from the beginning. She was always there to motivate me and "offer" her opinions about what I should do, and make me take action when I didn't want to. It's been great because she went through all the fertility things before, so it's been nice to have a friend that's already been down that road and can say " I know how you feel". She is way better at handling doctors than I am, which I admit, am jealous of. I haven't always

appreciated her pushiness, but I am really glad that she has always been there to push me and say "you can do this!". Thanks Tabby for being a part of my success!

I also need to credit my cousin Trina for being an inspiration for me to start this blog! I love you so much and can always count on you to leave supportive and inspiring comments!

To all my new friends- Thank you for believing in me!